Oh Oh Oh!

I love music. I swear I will get a tattoo dedicated to it :)

Anyways I'm doing okay I guess. shit hit the fan like 10 days ago. I had my friends over and Bum. We were all drinking heavy shit mind you and my older brother too. Bum told everyone about the verrry darkest secret about myself. I do not want to go into detail about it right now though, I think someday I will have the balls to talk about it even if I am anonymous. Ha. There is no such thing but I'm doing it I guess. Yaaaah.

So school is almost over. Turned in a very important paper hopefully I'll get better grade then on the rough draft C is not acceptable! Hahah. I am capable of A+ :D

Thanksgiving is tomorrow! Yuck I hate TURKEY. I'd rather have just the pumpkin pie haha. I think I'm supposed to be a vegan or vegetarian at least I hate eating meat or watch it being cooked or thinking about it lol so I don't really eat it. Actually I don't eat much at all btu no on purpose I sometimes feel like I don't have the time to eat, which is a no go! I need to eat dammit....
Oh well.

Hmm, I wanna have sex with this one guy but uh idk he doesn't do it for me although he is verrry attractivce I just don't see the point if I don't get anything outta it haha. Geeez slut much? <3
Again, oh well.

My thought process lately has been you only live once so do whatcha do. But there are lines you do not cross. And I don't know, Ah I'm so conflicted in so many ways. Haha not a laughing matter.


I like this, "I can see the heavens but I still hear the flames...calling out my name"

What song is it from?  (:

<3 Till next time

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November

Already? Holy moly. Ha. Well this month too so far is just okay, nothing special in a good way happened. I've been feeling like complete crap lately. The reason for that is I had a little get together at my house and when I say little I mean like 5 friends come over. Sooo, obviously I was just wanting to hang out and relax, have some drinks maybe some herb as well. And as usual things did not go as planned, well for about a quarter of the night they did, but of course shit hit the fan eventually. Boy did it hit the fan harrrrrd.....Bum freaked out, my brother freaked out my poor friends felt they should go home at 4 in morning. As for em I was a complete mess. Oh was it horrible, it still stings almost a week later. Usually my brain would do what it normally does with horrible memories an push everything out of my thoughts and lock em elsewhere but it hasn't yet....Weird.
 I don't like it.

Anyways, school's at least a nice escape. :) I have lots of admirers there but again as usual not one of them has the balls to just ask me out for a date er suttin. I think they'd be surprised to hear that I would say yesss. Even if it's an act of desperation they wouldn't know really. LOL. Fuck that's sad. But whatever do whatcha gotta do right?

Me, bum, and his friend had sex. Yes a threesome, my first ever...Well all of our firsts ahaha. And guess what?! It turned out completely horrible as well. I mean afterwards....Bum freaked out he actually got physical with me. He didn't punch me or nothing too bad, but ripping me around by my hair, throwing me around and shit like that is bad enough! Fuck that right?! Or is it my fault for having pushed on the threesome? I mean we all wanted to do it but I was the only one who had the balls to say OKAY let's get it movin then! Basically.
Bum ruined his car with a baseball bat, luckily it was the car and not me and his friend, which he ended up selling for $700.00 (Might of been worth more, I'm not sure I'm not a mechanic)

But with all that off my chest I've got a busy day ahead of me. I'll write more later, unload my brain.



<3 With all the love in my heart <3

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