This is a reflective essay I had to write for one of my English classes, thought I'd share it. (:
If there's anything I can say that I've learned about life in my seventeen years so far, it'd be that, life isn't always what you want it to be and it doesn't always turn out the way you plan. Certain events will happen unexpectedly and definitely unwanted, but I've learned that along with catastrophe comes opportunity. Life is full of many different emotions such as happiness, sadness, anger, love, sorrow, confidence, jealousy everything and anything but going through the motions has helped me realize so many things, and it allowed me to become a stronger person. Just recently my life turned somewhat upside down, to where everything I know and everything I love is no longer in front of me. I never understood that saying of how "you never realize what you have until it is gone". A few events led up to this sudden dramatic change for me. I should have seen it coming as if a sign were flashing, warning me to be prepared, like a yellow light at an intersection telling you to slow down, the light will soon turn red. Well I didn't see those signs therefore I was shocked when everything came to an abrupt stop. Going through the changes, at first I was angry and hurt, but in a short amount of time I learned to appreciate everything I've had, instead of taking it for granted, and lastly it enabled me to experience new things and to grow closer to my dad, which I've wanted for so long.
One bad night, can change everything by the next morning. My Mom had gotten a little too intoxicated, which ended the night with red and blue flashing lights. Gone. Gone like an airplane, the last red eye flight, we all thought the ticket was only one way. This is where I begin to feel hurt, abandoned, and completely, utterly helpless, but mostly angry, of course things aren't always as bad as they seem. Right? When I woke up the next morning everyone was on edge as if they were about to fall and shatter into tiny pieces. My family was trying to figure out just how long her stay would be when she stepped off the plane. We all thought it would be
much longer then it turned out. Once my Dad received word on our current crisis he decided it'd be best if my brother and I were to stay with him until things were sorted out. With this news my heart sank lower then it already had, which I didn't think was possible. Don't get me wrong I love my Dad with every beat of my heart, just as I do with any family of mine, but moving in with Dad meant bye, bye California, where my whole life has been spent, all my friends, my boyfriend, my home, my family, my everything. This put everything
in perspective for me.
Life one way or another for me seemed that it could have gotten better, but when the life you live everyday is gone, you come to realize that it's all you ever needed and actually wanted. When I think about how things were before I lived with my Dad it wasn't bad at all. I used to always whine and throw hissy fits acting as if a three year old would and not my actual age of seventeen, about to be a legal adult. I see that now but it would've been nice to have seen it then but, I believe everything happens for a reason. Maybe this had to happen for me to see that what I had, people would give up just about anything to have. Being able to watch my nieces grow up, being with the people who make you laugh and be carefree, hang out with your best friends, and what I miss most of all is being able to hug my Mom anytime I want. I know now that I have had a great life, full of great people. I am so thankful to be blessed with what I have. With what happened not only do I realize how lucky I have been, but it's allowed me to be able to try new things and have a better relationship with my Dad.
My Dad lives in Yuma, Arizona with his girlfriend of five years. The whole drive out here all I could think about was what I was leaving behind in California. My brain was like a million piece puzzle, but none of them fit together. Five days, which felt like 5 years, after being with Dad, my Mom had finally gotten home. Although we thought we were going home, Dad had different plans. By the first week we had been there my brother was enrolled in school, our bedrooms were set up, and ba da bing were living here. I thought I had officially gone crazy. Everything was new and different. No more old routine, we had a completely new one. Well by the first month I would say I was pretty used to it all and actually happy. We spent a lot of time together doing new different fun things. Although I missed everyone like crazy, I was excited me and my Dad had built a relationship, one that I desperately needed. I can honestly say that this has made me feel more complete or happy. I have had so much fun living here and being around my Dad and his girlfriend, we're all closer now that we had time to really, truly get to know one another. Not only have I benefited from this but this gives my mom a chance to take a break after raising five kids, which I feel she needs. Overall I'm glad I can look at what happened and smile. This was one of those experiences that began horribly but ended beautifully.
I am happy to be able to say I've learned many things in my seventeen years. As I said I'm thankful for all the emotions I've gone through and came out a stronger person. When life took a turn down a road that was unknown, I was terrified for what might be at the end of it. Now I am glad I experienced this while becoming a better person and having a great relationship with my Dad. When I look back I would never guess this
would have been the outcome of me leaving California and living in Arizona. Now I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
